Dear Maine, I am writing this to inform you of the status of our relationship. Over the past 18 days I have gotten to know you really well. Before I met you I had heard of how beautiful you were and how you were such an amazing thing. Let me say that you do live up to your reputation and are extremely gorgeous especially to a Florida boy like me. Around every corner there is some type of spectacular scenery and the people I have met while with you were incredibly nice. But the ooey gooey love I felt for you didn't last... I must say Maine that you are very abusive and I do not appreciate that. You flaunted your beauty at me for the first three days and then slapped me in the face and kicked me in the balls over and over. You made me fall many times, poisoned me with your water, tried to kill me on many occasions, and just plain out used me for your own enjoyment. You threw rain at me almost every day, lighting, deathtrap mud pits, slippery rocks, and ankle spraining roots at me constantly. This never ending abuse made me grow sick and tired of you which is why I am writing to say that I am breaking up with you. I met a new woman by the name of New Hampshire and let me say that her reputation far exceeds yours. (Imagine me jumping across the state border and dancing with New Hampshire while playing the song I Got A Brand New Girlfriend by Steve Holly). WOOOHOOO!!!! NO MORE MAINE!!!! No more never ending rocks, roots, mud, and rotten bog bridges!!!! New Hampshire here I come baby!
Sincerely,
Sharkbait
Well I am glad that you are out of Maine but... I am a little jealous about the new girlfriend (:
ReplyDelete-Court
I hope New Hampshire is better to you. You sure are learning a lot and hopefully getting to think also.
ReplyDeleteLove You! Granny
I love this post, your witty writing made me laugh! NH here you come! Lisa L.
ReplyDeleteTrevor, we think you should have been playing the song, "Infatuation" as you crossed the state line and not just because it's "The Rolling Stones"....get it....�� Yes, she was beautiful for awhile and made your heart skip a few beats, but you have to lose respect for someone who lets you walk all over them, cries all the time and then makes you pay for it all, not just with money, but what could have been your life! There's only so much abuse a guy can take before you just have to move on......glad you left her!
ReplyDeleteBe careful and hopefully you don't fall so hard with this one! Love ya, Aunt Sherri & Uncle Ken
love the post! Congrats on the successful end of your relationship with two-faced Maine, at least you got some beautiful pictures :)
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